The Truth About Flight Crews. Part 1. By Captain Mark Johnstone I was recently in LA taking a flight for a friend whose wife died suddenly. While our crew was at TSA security for our return trip, I was approached by a fairly young businessman who wanted to ask me a question. We stepped aside and he asked, "Do you flight crews have all the sex that you are reported to have? I was just curious." "Well, my friend," I said, "I guess you are referring to the porno movies that have us having sex in-flight and staying behind after the flight to heat up the cabin or cockpit, right?" Blushing, he said, ‘Well, yes. Is it true?" "No, it is not," I said, "At least not like that!" "So it does happen?" he continued. "Well, on occasion I guess it might, but it's just not always the case. We are just people. Many are family people—men and women making a living for their families. Many flight attendants and pilots today are mothers and grandmothers. Pilots are fathers and grandfathers. Some, like me, are single. If you want to fantasize then be my guest. Sorry to burst your bubble. Are you disappointed?" "Well, I see your job as a glamorous one and having all the fringe benefits of beautiful flight attendants around you all the time, exotic places in the world, and the sex." "Well, let me tell you the tremendous responsibility we have to care for the souls aboard. My co-pilot and I have to know flight systems, every square inch of this ship, and how they relate in case of an emergency. Our flight attendants are more than pretty waitresses. They, too, are well-trained in case we have to deal with an emergency. So, there is a lot of stress involved with our jobs, all so we can get you to your next business meeting." At that our flight crew had to board and do our pre-flight duties.

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